Welcome to a truncated Top 5 of the David Letterman's
Top Ten List (more or less)for August 25, 1998 
(and maybe including rejected jokes) for August 28, 1998:


                      
                      
            Top Five of Top Ten 
           Good Things About Being a
             Senior Citizen
 10.
    The three M's: Mahjong, Metamucil, and Matlock!          
  6.
    The early-bird special at Hooters 
  5.
    You can say whatever the hell pops into your
    mind. Waffles! 
  3.
    My new bridge partner: Bob Dole 
  2.
    Social Security will be bankrupt in 50 years and
    guess what -- we don't care! 
                 

*************


 for September 8, 1998 
           Top Six of Top Ten Things 
           Babe Ruth Would Say If He Were Alive Today

 10.
    "You call this a baseball team? Where are all the
    fat guys?" 
            
  5.
    "I won't play unless I'm paid one hundred
    thousand dollars a year!" 
                   
  3.
    "I've just come back from the dead--so can't
     Denny's give me a free meal?" 
  2.
    "Yeah, I'd like to see McGwire hit 60 home runs
    drunk off his ass!" 
  x.
    "So, do pretty girls still dig fat guys?"
  xx.        
    "What's the deal with Richard Simmons?"

*************
In the June 1998 issue of the Nutrition Acion Health
Letter, there was another reminder of the limits of 
the resources of the planet's resources. Here is a 
part of the article:

  The last Tuna.  The last swordfish.
     The idea sounds absurd.  Yet the
  world's growing appetite for fish 
  and shellfish could spell disaster
  for seafood around the globe.
     "The sea is in serious trouble 
  and we need to take action now."
  warns Elliott Norse, president of 
  the non-profit Marine Conser-
  vation Biology Institute (MCBI) in
  Redmond, Washington.



TECHNOARTICLE:  Big Bang Blooie? III

    
  
Queeks and Boobs are having a cup of coffee 
and discussing the nature of the universe.

  Welll, the Big Bang still seems to be surviving.

  Queeks, do you believe that the 
universe could have had time to expand all 
the light years out there and still have
had enough time to send off a photon that 
is just now reaching us? 
 
Well, as hard as that is to believe, that's the belief.

Hmm. And if the universe turns out to be 
say, spinning or something, wouldn't there
be a problem with conservation of rotational
momemtum?

Well, I don't know if I can explain that.
Any how, David, the king of ancient Israel,
in times of stress strengthened himself in
his belief in his God or something like that.
***********************

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